If I didn’t have a blog I should have a reality tv show.
Last night was the single most fucked up night of my life.
Started innocently enough with a sushi dinner on campus and some reading. Every Wednesday my roommate, Kaitlyn, goes out for staff night. She works at the most popular chain of bars in our University town’s small core. This time I decided it would be fun to tag along. So we hurried home to change and get our stuff together, and went by Aaron’s to have a couple drinks and hang out with him and his roommates. Our night down town was fun. More so than I expected actually. Met some cool people, played some pool, got nice and drunk. Once the night came to an end we decided it would be fun to go by Aaron’s to hit a couple pre-bed bowls.
I honestly don’t know how it started or what it was about. All I know is Aaron and I were yelling at each other, and he said something that made me want to leave.
In the past during break ups and fights when this situation arises Aaron will take something of mine and keep it so that I'm forced to stay (purse, shoes, etc.). Last night he sat on my jacket and refused to give it back. Considering it was a cold, rainy, November night, this was a serious obstacle to my getting home.
Kaitlyn stepped in for me and grabbed the sleeve of my jacket, attempting to pull it away from him. She asked him politely a couple times, “Aaron, give her the jacket, please.”
“Aaron, this is not a joke, give her the jacket!”
“YOU CAN’T TAKE PEOPLE’S PRIVATE PROPERTY, GIVE THE JACKET BACK!!”
And the next thing I know she’s lunging at him, hitting him, punching him in the face. He blocked but never actually tried to fight back. I was in between them try-try-trying to get Kaitlyn to get the fuck out of there and stop. She would have none of it, I got a nice knock to the face myself for getting between them. Still she wouldn’t listen to me.
When she stopped punching, she was screaming at us, telling us how fucked up we both were and that we need to get help and that we’re just fucking ridiculous. I kept trying to calm her down, get her to leave, but she vehemently refused.
Eventually I realized that this wasn’t even my fight anymore, so I left. Jacketless. I waited outside in the cold, disoriented and in shock. I kept expecting Kaitlyn to come out, but she didn’t.
I went back in to try to get her. I waited outside the door for a while, listening to them screaming at each other, Kaitlyn telling him how much he’s hurt me and that he doesn’t understand how much I care about him and what I’ve gone through to keep us together. Aaron’s yelling back about a completely unrelated fight we've had a million times. They go back and forth at each other, not actually conversing, just yelling all the things they wanted the other to hear.
Finally I stepped in, and by that time Kaitlyn had realized what she’d done. She left the apartment to give us a minute.
I didn’t and still don’t know what to say to him. I told him what she did was completely out of line, but he never should have provoked her. He pleaded with me to stay and talk things out, but I was drunk and couldn’t keep track of anything we were talking about for more than a few seconds. I asked him to please give me my jacket back. He refused.
Eventually I said to him, either give me my jacket and I can leave here warm, or don’t and I still leave anyways. He gave it back and I left.
Kaitlyn was hysterically crying, calling anyone she could to try to make sense of what she did.
I’m sure as you’re reading this you’re probably wondering why I have such a nutball for a friend. She’s not crazy. She has had many problems with men and most of them ultimately stem from the fact that her dad was never in her life. He was a semi-famous singer in the 80s and she has about 6 different half-sisters scattered across North America. Kaitlyn also has the body of a plus size model. This is a good thing, but she has struggled with self-image her whole life, and has never had a boy really treat her right, so this plus the daddy issues, alcohol and my crazy “ex” boyfriend = nutball.
I have fierce friends. Kaitlyn is not the first to lose it on Aaron. Two years ago when things were starting up with Luke and all was going to shit with Aaron, one of my best friends, Blaire, ran into him on the sixth floor of our library. Our library is laid out in such a way that the 6th floor over looks the 5th, it’s all open, so if someone drops a pencil on the 6th floor, everyone on the 5th floor knows. I wasn’t there for this particular show down, but apparently Blaire completely lost her shit and screamed at him in front of their 5th and 6th floor library audience. Before storming off she dramatically threw a coffee at him, which spilled all over his exam notes. Yeap.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very thankful to know that my friends love me that much and have my back through anything, but it has been known to end up with me being more screwed than ever.
So what do I do now? I have nooo clue. I sent Aaron a message apologizing. He sent one back saying, ‘now what?’ and I told him I have no idea.
I don’t see how we can move forward from here. If I ever see his roommates again it will be way too soon, and honestly, I don’t think we can recover from this even as friends. I don’t know how it will ultimately end or what he wants to happen, but I know that it can’t ever be the same.
Today's title brought to you by: Jimmie's Song - Emmanuel and the Fear
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